Night Unto Night

Being home… October 9, 2008

…is…good…and hard…not to override the good though.  I landed a job working at a little ma/pa Sinclair gas station.  It’s good to work in such an invoronment.  It’s very peaceful.  There are the daily regulars who come in for the Coke, gas and cigarettes(not a fan of the cigarettes…but love the people:)).  And we make small talk for a minute or so and they go their own way.  I love the days here…NOT HUMID!!!!!  Beautiful skies…beautiful mountains…fresh pine air.  This is, and will always be home.  It’s good to be here.  To see those dear to me.  My family and close friends.  I’ve missed them so much.  I have had so many good memories running through my head in the past 6 months of home.  Some times it truly was genuinly difficult to not be here.  I love this place and the people who inhabit it.  I love the walk I have with the Lord here.  It’s not pretty, granted, but it’s genuine and powerful.  Who would really want a “perfect” walk anyways.  I think it’s the pain that makes the pleasure so sweet:)  I love the Lord in this place.  He is so merciful here.  Those who work in the “market place” and the rough and ugly…and remain faithful to the Lord…have a true anointing and gift of grace from the Lord.  Only those with a true and intimate walk with the Lord could see it and have it for their own.  But…I wont lie…it is bitter sweet…

I have a hope bubbling within me.  I have a joy that is beginning to be birthed inside of me that there is this slight change, this dim…but growing hope that I could live a life completely saturated/immersed/wholly given to the Lord.  That my every moment and breath could be spent meditating and speaking with the One True God, Jesus.  It’s not for everyone.  And thats OK…thats good.  Everyone is called differently, not that we arent all called to be wholly given to God.  But it just looks different for everyone.  My desire for this life of being wholly given looks like this.  Night and day prayer and worship.  Meditating on the works and character of God.  Psalms 27:4…being with Him.  Granted, this beast of burden titled “support raising” is nothing short of a bad weggie(sp?)…it’s TOTALLY worth it!  And am expecting the Lord to be faithful and help me get through it step by step.  Anyways, I am being strengthened day after day and stronger as each comes that IHOP is my future home and am becoming more and more excited about it each time I think about it.  It’s not Colorado and never will anyone be able to fill the hole I will feel being so distant from my family and friends.  But, this life of devotion is burning within me with an unquenchable flame and I must satisfy it(pretty fancy wording eh?:))  But it’s true and I am REALLY excited to give my life to the Lord in this way.  I’m excited to see how the Lord will help me in this time and love the idea that I could live my life with the sole occupation of a man in prayer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Lord, you are good!  May we give our lives fully and wholly to You!  We love you!